Sydney's Story

Friday, March 17, 2000 - I found out I was pregnant again. I was so excited! I had taken a Confirm pregnancy test very early that morning, around 3:30. At first, there was only one line. I waited in the bathroom 10-15 minutes and thought I may have seen a faint second line. I decided to go back to bed and take the test with me. After another 10 minutes passed, I looked at the test again with a flash light. Was that really a second line? I couldn’t be sure in such dim light. I got up and went to the bathroom again. Sure enough, it was positive!! I went back to bed and Brian asked me what I was doing. I told him "nothing" because I didn’t want him to know yet. I didn’t get anymore sleep that night.

When Brian got home from work, I told him I knew what we could get Kelsea for her birthday. I explained it wasn’t finished yet but I could show him part of it. I then showed him the pregnancy test. He just stared at it. He had no clue. Finally, he said, “You’re pregnant?” not at all sure if that was the answer or not. I said yes and he gave me a huge hug.

Wednesday, May 26, 2000 - I had my first ultrasound. We took Kelsea with us even though we knew she wouldn’t fully understand. It was so wonderful seeing our precious little one on the screen. It was much too early to tell if we were going to have a boy or a girl. I was only 14 weeks. The baby was very stubborn. The tech told us she could not get any of the necessary measurements because the baby was in the exact opposite position she needed it to be. Brian and I just laughed. A stubborn one already! We were even told that we won the award for the most uncooperative baby of the month. It wasn’t until after my next u/s that I wondered if maybe they really couldn’t get the measurements, or did they have suspicions even then? We were given an appointment to come back July 5.

Wednesday, July 5, 2000 - I remember the night before our next u/s, I laid in bed thinking, “By this time tomorrow, we’ll know whether we’re having a boy or a girl.” At first, we had not wanted to find out the sex. However, after telling Kelsea she was going to have a baby brother or sister and she kept insisting “sister”, we decided it would be best for her to find out. We were so excited the next day yet I was also feeling a bit of dread that I could not explain. It was almost as if I didn’t want to go to the u/s. I didn’t want to know. I knew immediately as soon as the tech began scanning that something was not right. She kept looking at the baby’s head and asking questions that I knew they had never asked with Kelsea. Had I had an AFP test yet? Was I scheduled for a doctor visit that day? She even went out and talked to someone on the phone. My heart sank. Then, she called in another tech to help her. This lady walked into the room carrying a check-list...I knew they had not done this with Kelsea. I vividly remember the tech saying, “Four-chamber heart” and the other tech saying, “No”. This couldn’t be happening. As the u/s went on, I noticed that the tech was able to get a femur measurement. I commented on this to her since she had not been able to get any measurements at the previous u/s but she didn’t say much. I then asked if she could tell if it was a boy or a girl, and she very quickly said she could not tell. It was right about then that Kelsea decided she needed to potty so Brian had to take her. For some reason, it was then that the tech decided to tell me something. She said, “I can’t get all the measurements that I’d like to on your baby. I can’t see everything the way I like.” What?! I looked at her in disbelief. I then had to go to my appointment with my OB/GYN upstairs. Brian and I both were silent. When Dr. S walked into the room, I could tell by the look on his face that all was not well. He said that our baby’s head was measuring large and there appeared to be fluid on the head. I, of course, was not familiar with this, but I knew it did not sound good. I asked what that could mean and he said there was no reason to go into all of that because it could mean a million different things. He then told us we would have to wait another week to find out because the u/s specialist was on vacation. The following week was horrendous.